Childhood Abuse:
Some women may
have had experiences in their lives that cause them to be afraid of physical
intimacy. They might feel pain, fear, and shame associated with physical
intimacy or sexual experiences.
Personal
Experience:
Mary was sexually abused when she was
younger by her older brother. It has been hard for her to forget those past
experiences. This makes it hard for her to be physically intimate with her
husband.
What research has found:
The U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services reports that 80 percent of childhood abuse victims
later suffer from at least one abuse-induced psychological disorder. It's
proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow women into adulthood. Yet few
men are prepared to deal with those effects, even when their own wife is the
one who is suffering. And their wife's suffering becomes their own suffering as
their needs aren't being met by a wife who is powerless to control her inner
turmoil. Sexual abuse is way too common in our society and can leave lasting
scars. If these issues are not dealt with they can spill over into a healthy
relationship.
What
you can do:
Jennifer Degler has
some great tips on how to help a spouse that has been sexually abused. She
first says to let go of false beliefs. There is no perfect combination of words
which magically erase the negative effects of childhood abuse. Second, educate
yourself. Learn more about sexual abuse and how victims feel. Third, be patient
and keep your expectations realistic. Recovery takes a long time and often is
“two steps forward and one step back.” Start small and then take bigger steps.
If you do the things that it takes to help your spouse, you will be one step
closer to sharing physical intimacy with them.
Photo By Phaitoon
No comments:
Post a Comment