If you have a lack of
desire for physical intimacy you are not alone. Many women find themselves in
this situation. Some women might wonder what is wrong with them or why
they feel the way that they do, however, there are many reasons women might lack
a desire for physical intimacy. Here is the first of a series of weekly posts,
stayed tuned!
Fear of intimacy:
Wounds from past relationships can be
carried into present ones. This might make it difficult to have the desire for
physical intimacy.
Personal Example:
Linda found herself in a
tough situation. She found out about two years ago that her husband had been
cheating on her. He had always been very controlling and was hard to trust. Now
that it has been a couple of years she has tried to move on, although she still
has wounds from her past relationship. She now has a boyfriend she has been
dating for a year. He is very kind, loving, and cares about her. She
finds it hard to be intimate with her boyfriend because of her wounds from her previous
relationship.
What
research has found:
Studies
have found that fear of intimacy issues were commonly found in women suffering
from depression, but those same issues weren't present in men with the
condition. It's difficult for a person with these issues to develop a strong
emotional bond with another person because they're terrified of being hurt or
rejected. So they push people away to avoid rejection.
What
you can do:
Overcoming a fear of intimacy isn't easy. It takes a lot of soul
searching, prioritizing your wants and needs in life and dealing with painful
events from your past, maybe even as far back as your childhood. It's important
for those women with a fear of intimacy to realize their self-worth and do the
work necessary in order to learn how to express their feelings to the
people who have stood by them, despite being pushed away. Also just starting
with small five minute physical intimacy activities is a start. For example, a
back massage, cuddling, or showering together.
Picture By David Castillo Dominici, Retrieved from: http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
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