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This blog is a way for couples to improve their marriage through improved intimacy, communication, and love. There are links and a search bar on the left to help you navigate the blog easier. Since this blog is about improving marital intimacy all of the post will discuss some aspect of marital intimacy; however, some posts will cover more than one topic. The tabs on the top of the page are there to help you learn more about our intimacy workshop. This workshop can help couples recover from poor marital intimacy caused by an assortment of problems.

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Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Lack of Physical Intimacy: Fear of Intimacy


If you have a lack of desire for physical intimacy you are not alone. Many women find themselves in this situation.  Some women might wonder what is wrong with them or why they feel the way that they do, however, there are many reasons women might lack a desire for physical intimacy. Here is the first of a series of weekly posts, stayed tuned! 

Fear of intimacy:
Wounds from past relationships can be carried into present ones. This might make it difficult to have the desire for physical intimacy.



Personal Example:
Linda found herself in a tough situation. She found out about two years ago that her husband had been cheating on her. He had always been very controlling and was hard to trust. Now that it has been a couple of years she has tried to move on, although she still has wounds from her past relationship. She now has a boyfriend she has been dating for a year. He is very kind, loving, and cares about her.  She finds it hard to be intimate with her boyfriend because of her wounds from her previous relationship.


What research has found:
Studies have found that fear of intimacy issues were commonly found in women suffering from depression, but those same issues weren't present in men with the condition. It's difficult for a person with these issues to develop a strong emotional bond with another person because they're terrified of being hurt or rejected. So they push people away to avoid rejection.


What you can do:
Overcoming a fear of intimacy isn't easy. It takes a lot of soul searching, prioritizing your wants and needs in life and dealing with painful events from your past, maybe even as far back as your childhood. It's important for those women with a fear of intimacy to realize their self-worth and do the work necessary in order to learn how to express their feelings to the people who have stood by them, despite being pushed away. Also just starting with small five minute physical intimacy activities is a start. For example, a back massage, cuddling, or showering together. 



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