Make Your Long Distance Relationship Work

Hello! 

My name is Deidre and I blog over at Love, The Skinnys. Let me tell you a little about my husband and I...we are busy people. My husband, Adam, has been in Arizona and Montana living his baseball dream. And while he is there I have been in Utah and Idaho working my dream job and volunteering for Miss Idaho. We aren't in the typcial long distance relationship because we aren't just dating...we are married. But the same rules and feelings apply. Time apart is hard, but it doesn't have to be impossible. Here are some tips from our relationship that has made the time apart easier. We are keeping the spark alive through our long distance dating. And I truly believe our relationship will only be stronger when he comes back.

1. Save Your Conversation. 

Don't text all day, every day. Save your conversation for a nightly phone call. When you spend all day texting each other you will have nothing to say at night. During the day we will text each other questions, funny things that come up, quick snippets or a story that needs to be told while talking, and quick I love yous... but we are careful to share EVERY detail of our day throughout the day. We want to have meaningful conversation at night, not just a phone call because it "should happen". 

  2. Use Technology to Your Advantage. 

There are so many options to talk these days. It isn't just a letter or in person conversation. We have cell phones, text messaging, but - best of all - we have video chat. Whether you Skype, Facetime, or use Google+ - use technology to your advantage. It stinks not seeing my husband every day at home, but I can see him every day through the advances in technology. We have our very own Google Hangout every single night. 

  3. Pictures. Lots and Lots of Pictures. 

Pictures of what you are doing. Pictures of things going on around you. Pictures of yourself. Adam and I are the King and Queen of selfies. On an average day we spend anywhere from 20-30 photos... but sometimes when I know that Adam wont be at his phone for awhile, I will send him about 20-30 over a ten minute period. I like to see what Adam is up to. I like to see the field he is playing at. I like to see his new hat. I like to see his face. So we send photos. It is like I am there without being there.

  4. Take Advantage of Time Apart. 

Obviously you are sad to be apart... but when you get sad think of all the things you have listed that you want to do when you "have some time"... then DO it! Take advantage of your time apart by doing things you have put off. Learn a new skill. Get a new hobby. Visit friends. Watch movies you know your significant other wont want to watch. Time apart doesn't have to be bad... it can be a time to grow more as an individual to make yourself better for when you are a couple together again. 

  5. Do Things "Together". 

To do something together you don't have to be together. Your significant other is watching a show on TV? Sit down and watch the same show. You are watching a YouTube clip? Send them the link and then watch it at the same time over the phone. You can always find similar things to do in your different location... it helps put you on the same field. 

  6. Talk About the Good Times. And Then Look to the Future. 

We all have those moments that will always be special in our relationships. Take the time to talk about those moments. First date, a funny story, first conversation, a roadtrip, the list goes on and on. When you talk about the good times you prepare for more good times. One memory can lead to a plan for the future. When you think about good memories you think about the opportunities for the future, and not the time apart. It brings excitement to the next time you see each other. 

  7. Be Positive. 

Obviously you miss each other. Obviously you want to see each other. But crying on the phone, saying "I miss you" a million times, and talking about how difficult the distance is will only make the time apart harder. Be positive. You can easily make an I miss you positive - say I miss you and I cant wait to see you or I miss you, but we will have so much fun when I come out there... When you say "I miss you," don't make it a focal point of the conversation. 

  8. Make Them a Priority. 

We are all busy. And we make ourselves more busy when we want time to move faster. But ALWAYS make time for your significant other - no matter how busy you are. Everyone has time to text message. And if you have time to text, chances are you have time for a phone call. Not all phone calls need to be an hour long. But waiting to go to bed, or stepping out of a movie for a few seconds, or walking away from your girlfriends shows they are a priority and it shows you want to talk to them. 

  9. Make the Time Seem Shorter. 

When talking timeline, what sounds more appealing, "Soon" or "5 Weeks"? If you said 5 weeks, good on you.. but I think soon sounds better. This one is big in my relationship with Adam. Over his 3 months away we will only see each other twice. Whenever we talk we discuss when we get to see each other next... we have found that saying soon or the number of days makes the time seem shorter than saying one month or five weeks. Find out what timeline sounds more appealing to you and make sure you take your significant other's feelings into account. 

  10. Say I LOVE YOU. 

If you are in love, say it. If you are in like, say it. Anything you think, say it. There is nothing better than a few kind words to get through a hard time. And even though I miss Adam, hearing him say "I love you" or "I appreciate you" makes it easier. Because even though we are apart I can focus on the most important thing... we are in love. And that isn't going to change. 

  11. Fly, Drive, or Crawl.

And of course the last and most important. The only way to make long distance work is to MAKE SURE you see each other. Time apart is hard. But time together makes it worth it. No matter how long you are apart, make time to see each other at least once while you are apart. And if you can, take turns doing the visiting. And when you go visit them, plan out your trip. Don't just spend time holed in a hotel "catching up"... go out, explore, and have adventure! That will make the departure a lot easier. Because you aren't so sad to be apart after 24 hours a day of looking into each other's eyes, you have memories to build on for all your future conversations. 

Have you ever experience a long distance relationship? What advice do you have? What made the time apart easier for you?