Hey everyone!
My name is Allyson Macy from Keeping Up With the Macys. I have only been married for about 6 months, but I feel that in the short time I’ve had with my husband, I have gained invaluable experience that is worth sharing!
Two of the most life-altering lessons I’ve learned in my marriage are:
1) Unity in decision-making gives us confidence in our identity and future as a married couple
2) service toward one another is a powerful healing and strengthening agent.
Unity
The first thing my husband and I decided when we got engaged is that it is no longer “my life” and “his life,” but “OUR life.” Since then, we have always tried to make decisions together, with the other’s desires and needs in careful consideration.
An important aspect of unity is teamwork. My husband makes most of the money, but I feel like I am an important member in our marriage when he includes me in financial decisions and genuinely values my opinions. He lets me know that even though I don’t make as much as he does, I contribute in other ways and deserve an equal say in any decision-making process. As we work together to plan our future through financial, spiritual, and other decisions, we design a life that each of us is able to enjoy and look forward to every day.
Unity and service go hand-in-hand. When you start to think of yourselves as a unit, your spouse’s happiness becomes equally, if not more important than your own. When my husband’s happy, I’m happy. When he’s upset, I show him that I care and that I am here to help. This works both ways and fosters a feeling of security in our resiliency and devotion to one another. It also encourages us to serve one another and make each other as happy and fulfilled as possible.
Unity and service go hand-in-hand. When you start to think of yourselves as a unit, your spouse’s happiness becomes equally, if not more important than your own. When my husband’s happy, I’m happy. When he’s upset, I show him that I care and that I am here to help. This works both ways and fosters a feeling of security in our resiliency and devotion to one another. It also encourages us to serve one another and make each other as happy and fulfilled as possible.
Service
Service may start out feeling like a sacrifice, but I believe it is one of the most vital and efficient ways to strengthen a marriage. Figure out what makes your spouse the most happy (you probably already know), and do it often! Everyone is different, but something as simple as taking out the trash or leaving a nice note can let your spouse know that you are thinking of their happiness and that you are there whenever they need you.
To me, the best kind of service includes altruism: don’t expect or ask for anything in return. Do it because you love your spouse and want them to be happy. This is particularly helpful when he or she has done something very deserving or is just having a bad day. Your spouse will know that they are loved and appreciated, and will feel more inclined to do the same for you, especially when you need it most!
The more my husband and I serve one another, the more love we feel for one another. And the more we love each other, the easier and more enjoyable it is to be kind and thoughtful, and to perform acts of service for one another. If you are always thinking of ways to serve and love your spouse, the cycle will continue, and your love for each other will grow every day!
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