Rascal Flatts - Oklahoma Texas Line
Dr. Jennifer Kunst
said, “Troubles in life come when we believe the myth that the grass is always
greener on the other side of the fence. We are taken over by envy,
believing that other people have the good stuff and then feeling depressed,
anxious, and persecuted by the belief that we have so little. We are
taken over by greed, wanting more and more and more, feeling that what we have
cannot ever be enough”.
Sometimes in marriage we do the same thing. We look at the
other side of the fence and think, “Hey the grass is greener on that side”. It
can be really tempting to go to that other side where the grass looks greener,
but is it really?
Maybe you are not
looking hard enough on your side to realize it has been green all along it just
needed someone to take care of it. Water, fertilize, mow, and give it the
nutrients it needs to become what it used to be. You will have to put forth
some work no matter what side of the fence you are on.
We must tend the grass wherever we are.
This song by Rascal Flatts is a good example of a guy who is
happy with what he has. He’s got everything he will ever need with his girl by
his side. He looks for the qualities in her that makes him happy like her long
blonde hair or her big blue eyes. He appreciates how she takes off time from
work to be with him and how she loves to have fun with him. He focuses on the
positive instead of the negative qualities or things and events that may affect
their relationship.
Activity #1
1. Take the time to sit down with your spouse and each of
you write down the positive qualities that you like about one another.
2. Divide your paper into two sections. Section one is
qualities and attributes that you admire about your spouse when you first met.
Section two is qualities and attributes that you admire about your spouse right
now.
3. Over time you will be able to think of more and more
qualities that you admire about your spouse, continue to write them down as a
good reminder of how much you love them.
4. Take turns sharing what you wrote about one another.
This activity should help you draw closer to one another and
to realize the grass is really greener on your side. You are lucky to be with
your spouse and you got everything you ever needed.
In an article written by Nathan Feiles, titled, The ‘Grass
is Greener’ Syndrome, it says, “When
the grass is greener on the other side, we’re usually (if not always) placing
personal unhappiness with ourselves onto something outside of us — generally a
partner, career, living environment, etc. We rely on polishing our external
environment to soothe a deeper internal dissatisfaction. Though the environment
changes when jumping the fence, after a brief internal high, without constant
stimulation and newness, the dissatisfaction becomes the same”.
If this is true then
it is not the fault of any person, job, house, or any other thing as to why we
think the grass is greener on the other side, it is our own fault. The
unhappiness is coming from within not from any outside source. If this is the case then how can we become
happy? How can we be satisfied with what we have right in front of us like this
song describes?
There are so many
different ways on how to be happy and satisfied with the life you have! You can
search the Internet and find a million ways but I will share just a few that
have helped me.
Stop
being frustrated
Sometimes there is nothing you can do and you have no
control over people or situations so replace anger with rational thinking. Just
stop! When you start to think rationally you will be able to clear your
thoughts and find a solution.
Be calm:
As you take time to stop and
think, meditate. Meditation has helped me to think clearly and purposefully. It
also allows me to remember the blessings and gifts that I have received and
that makes me very happy.
Don’t compare
yourself with others:
This is so easy to do and it is one of the biggest
things that make you think the grass is greener on the other side. When you
compare you don’t feel good about yourself and you become very unhappy.
Live simply and be
grateful:
You don’t have to own everything you “think” you want. Be simple
is the way you live and don’t forget to be grateful for everything you do have.
Become happy today:
Live life to the fullest and do it on purpose! Be meaningful in how you spend
your time and do things with those you love most. Don’t wait until tomorrow to become
happy.
James Marshall says, "The grass is greener on the side you water". Take his advice and water the grass that is on your side and it will turn greener than you ever could have imagined.
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