Lack of respect:
For
some women it might be extremely difficult to desire intimacy with someone who
does not show genuine love or who consistently diminishes your worth and value
in some way.
Personal Example:
Pat has been married
for five years. Her husband does not show her love and respect. She lacks the
desire to be physically intimate with him because she is not receiving respect
from in return. He often diminishes her and makes her feel like she is dumb or
stupid. This makes Pat feel like she is just an object that he is receiving
pleasure from.
What research has found:
When it comes to
relationships feeling respected is huge. Nobody wants to be around someone that
doesn’t respect them. Sustaining respect during the course of a relationship
takes effort. We are all human, and if someone begins to treat us negatively,
we often tend to respond in kind. Disrespect can grow until most
interactions are described by sarcastic, inconsiderate, blaming, critical, and
demeaning behavior. However, the lack of respect is not always so obvious.
Spouses can show their disrespect in more subtle but equally eroding ways. For
example: ignoring the spouse or partner, or responding with indifference to
their partner.
What you can do:
The definition of
respect is the feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by
their abilities, qualities, or achievements. A few ways to have more respect
for your spouse are: making a list of your spouse’s qualities that you
appreciate. Review and add to your list regularly. Next, tell your spouse what
you appreciate about them, and even tell other’s what you appreciate about him.
Look for the positive things that you might find irritating. If you are bored
when he is telling you about your day, find the positive and be glad that he is
actually talking to you. Next, respond to him in loving ways. Lastly, when you
find yourself thinking negative thoughts about your spouse, stop and choose
something positive to think about him, if you can’t think of something then
choose one from your positive list. If you do these things it will help you
gain more love and respect for your spouse.
Photo By David
Castillo Dominici
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